JDinAZ
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Registered: 05-06-2008
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posted on 05-06-2008 at 00:58 |
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Virgin in AZ
So, I know this isn't a site for personal ads, but this is the culmination of all that some of us are here for, so I'll throw it out there...
This is a post I recently made on my ExperienceProject account.
"At this point in my life, I'm a virgin to the strictest sense; I haven't kissed, dated, etc. Much more than the sex aspect, the first two bother me because I'm almost certain it's entirely because I'm too nervous. Let me explain:
I have a lot of friends that I actively hang out with and am very close with (40 or so) and, needless to say, a good portion of them are women. I'm sure all of you have heard of the "friend zone" on TV shows that make fun of guys who find themselves in a situation where a girl considers them such a great friend they wouldn't date him to avoid jeopardizing their relationship. Well, that's me! To a tee in fact. All of my friends and I are very close and love one another. Every time we go out the conversation comes up about how it's possible that I don't have a girlfriend yet. The problem is, I'm not really some creepy guy, I'm not socially akward, there's no tell-tale sign that I'm some romantic reject stapled to my forhead. I am a big guy, but it's just that. I weigh 260 or so, but I'm 6'4" and fairly muscular. So, most of my friends don't know I'm a virgin, and more than half don't know I've never been kissed. It's an akward scenario I've put myself in, where I don't have the testicular fortitude to ask anyone out (on top of the fact that I'm very picky - I guess - about women mentally; stupidity irks me) and everyone seems to assume that I'm fine on that front.
So, if you've taken the time to read this far, which I appreciate, you're wondering how this little preface relates to this forum specifically. Well, I'm not a terribly religious person. And let me define this by saying, I believe in God, and I believe in all of the lessons taught in the bible, just not in their literal sense. I'm a very moral, good and just person, but I don't go to church, nor do I regularly participate in prayer. Beyond that, I'm a very scientific person, who believes in the big bang, dinosaurs and contriception. So, waiting to lose my virginity until marriage isn't a plan. Should I meet the right girl, who does plan on waiting, then lucky me. Anyhow, that said, I believe that as a human being, as one of two species on earth who have sex for fun, that I'm missing out to some extent.
What I've decided recently is that I would try to find a girl, through things like craigslist or forums, who is in a similar scenario. At this point, as a guy, we're expected to be the agressor and make the first move, etc etc. I overthink things, as you've probably derived from this post. It seems that at this point I'm more nervous about taking a girl to the right place on the first date, having enough to say over dinner, having any clue at all when it's okay to kiss her, and not botching the kiss entirely. The common theme, as is the case with the whole dating scene, is that it leads back to sex, where I'm completely in the dark. And since all of this floods through my head in an instant when I see or think about a girl that I like, any confidence I have in steps one through four flies out the window.
Hence my goal: I would love to lose my virginity with a girl who is also a virgin. The way I see it, this takes off any and all pressure to be good in bed. Because, let's face it, you have to know how to do something to be good at it. It's takes away the possibility of sleeping with someone who like ones thing and one way only, where there's no consideration for their partner. It's a way to have fun, take it slow, learn what you and your partner like, and gain some comfort and confidence. For me, I'm certain that would translate to the dating game as well, and hopefully it would for any girl in the same boat. What would be amazing would be if this mystery girl and I clicked and, if nothing more, we became friends or, better yet, started dating, but I have to meet a girl like this first."
So, if any of the women on these forums feel the same way, write me, and we'll go from there.
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